I'm Dating For My Business

As most of you know I am single and since I finally feel settled with how things are going in my very CRAZY entrepreneurial life I've begun dating again.  My dating companions don't seem to last very long.  Many potentials don't make it past asking me out.

Why, one might wonder, would I not be falling out of my seat for men who compliment me and tell me I'm beautiful or who are offended if I want to pay (hey new business owner here, I'm on a budget) or seem to think I'm perfect in every way.  Why, one might wonder, would I not be flattered by the individual today who calls me gorgeous but whose mother is only 5 years older than me.  Why, one might wonder, am I not impressed with his bank account, looks or Swiss Patek Philippe (which has symbols that I don't even understand).

At this point I KNOW MYSELF.  In most instances I know almost immediately if I'm attracted to or interested in someone.  For those who make it past the initial impression one date tells me all else that I need to know with regard to the longevity of our time together.  I know what I'm looking for.  I know my flaws.  I know my strengths and what I have to offer.  At this point I know what doesn't work for me even if I don't know where to find it.  I am prepared and so when opportunity presents itself I am ready.

Part of that knowledge is also in knowing my business.  If we each applied our "quality" dating rules to our businesses we would be at an entirely different level.  New entrepreneurs, in particular, are wowed when someone compliments their work.  They often give it away for a kiss of kindness or a compliment of confidence.  Then they wonder why there being tossed over for the cutie who played hard to get.  But, if you don't know what your business is really about, what you provide, what you need and what external elements "fit" then you are destined to always be a bridesmaid and never a bride.  

Opportunities surround us everyday.  Networking is your "speed dating" business opportunity.  Go to these events with the knowledge of how your business and business ideas sparkle like a beautiful smile.  Enter the room knowing the wisdom that you're sharing is refreshing like the sparkling beverage they hand out as you enter the room.  Engage others knowing that your mere presence will have them begging for a meeting to hear more about your product/service or business plan.

But be vigilantly aware.  If you begin with self awareness then you will hear it when someone doesn't share the same values.  If you are aware of your business' needs you'll know when someone has nothing to offer your business.  If you are paying attention you will notice when someone is engaged in learning more about you and your offerings. 

Yes, just as in dating politely respond to those who ask you out but if they aren't a fit then let them go and do so quickly.  For those who are worth pursuing allow them the opportunity to show you all of their attributes so that it can best be determined how you can work together.  If it  turns out that everything will be about them and you and your products will start collecting dust then clearly that's not the best relationship for your business.  Partners, Ambassadors, Vendors and Clients should all fit in to your circle to take you to the next level.  So feel free to apply your dating rules to your networking and connecting for your business because it will save you hurt feelings and a possibly painful divorce (partner dissolution).  So Happy Dating and Happy Entrepreneuring!!!

Shirley E. Crawford

Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting

Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515

They Smile In Your Face...Backstabbers

As the O'Jays would say: 
They smile in your face. All the time they want to take your place The back stabbers (back stabbers)

Yesterday I had the pleasure of participating in the Women's Business Owner's Conference hosted by Department of Small Business and Supplier Diversity sponsored by some fabulous women owned business owners: Company B Communications, Superior Global Solutions, Inc., 2nd Chance Consulting (yay that's me) and Boomer3 Solutions, LLC.

Normally at these types of events I work my table and only have time to meet who comes to me.  This time I felt the urge to do it differently.  Instead when the participants went in to listen to the speakers I LISTENED TOO.  I just kept thinking that while I'm "experienced" and was even a panel participant there is ALWAYS more to know and learn.

I was not disappointed as first up after intros, from the fabulous Tammy Farmer of DSBSD, was Anne Moss Rogers of Impression Marketing.  Anne Moss spoke on how women can and should support one another.

She shared her own personal experiences and had us complete the exercise of only saying positive things about the images of high profile women that she displayed.  It was clear that it was hard for some to think of something nice to say about some of the women she shared.

What struck me especially in her personal story was the understanding that the qualities that we might admire in men we judge women negatively for.  And how we often sabotage our own.  While men are readily willing to hire other men statistics show that we, women that is, are far less likely to do so.

I'm sure my title has you wondering where the backstabbing comes in.  Sadly, it comes in every day with each and every one of us.  If you are truly looking for personal or business success then we have to start by looking at the success and not detriment of others.  Think first what positive attribute can I appreciate about the person who walks in to the room rather than automatically reaching for a negative comment.

Unfortunately the backstabber is often US and as Anne Moss so graciously put it while it's impossible to change the world we can indeed change ourselves and then see the changes happening in the world.

To quote Gandhi, Be the change you want to see in the world

Shirley E. Crawford

Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting

Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515

We Wear The Mask...The Entrepreneur's Coverup

Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

   We Wear the Mask

    WE wear the mask that grins and lies, 

    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,— 

    This debt we pay to human guile; 

    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, 

    And mouth with myriad subtleties. 

    Why should the world be over-wise, 

    In counting all our tears and sighs? 

    Nay, let them only see us, while 

            We wear the mask. 

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries 

    To thee from tortured souls arise. 

    We sing, but oh the clay is vile 

    Beneath our feet, and long the mile; 

    But let the world dream otherwise, 

            We wear the mask!

As an entrepreneur we have to show No Fear.  We must be risk takers, rule makers and smile fakers.  We can not go to our employees to share the burden of a crisis.  We can not show weakness to our competitors.  We must protect the bottom line and our relationships with investors.  We must wear the mask.

Being an entrepreneur sometimes feels like you've started a cross country trek.  Many will be amazed but few if any will take the journey with you.  They'll like your Facebook posts but will question why you would start this endeavor.  They will envy your success but never consider following in your footsteps.  They will laugh at your foibles and in failure they will whisper that everyone knew that it couldn't be done so your failure is really just life putting you back in your place.

They will continue to exist but for you, oh glorious entrepreneur, "existence is futile."  We can not be a part of The Collective.  We have mountains to climb, Lands to explore and Accomplishments to Meet.  

Cherish the challenges that bring you to this place of EXCELLENCE.  Drop the pretense and masks. Amongst those that you are shielding your life from you might find support.  But even if you find negativity then congratulations because now you've found the truth.

Let that truth lead you to surround yourself with the right people. For every entrepreneur we must have a SAFE PLACE to come out of our silos and commiserate, recreate and celebrate.  Find your place because there there is no need for a mask.

Be bold. Be Brave and Be Free.

***Yes this is my favorite poem and Yes, those are Star Trek references (live long and prosper)

Shirley E. Crawford

Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting

Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515

Is This The Life You Dreamed Of?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng0VcQjZVbk

When I grow up...  Did you envision life as a football player, ballerina or a movie star.  What did you dream that your life would be?

Are you what you'd always hoped you be?  Are you anywhere near being what or where you'd planned for in college or after high school?  Do you look up from your desk job or carpool and wonder how you got there?  

Well rather than wondering if this is really your life it's time to dream again but then follow up with some action.  It might be too late to be a football player but it's not too late to have a life where you can earn income and still have time and funds for travel, family.

The life you seek could probably be found in answering this simple question for your business. What will my business be when it grows up? Take some time and revisit your "When My Business Grows Up Plan" otherwise known as your business plan.  

Are you still on track? Did you get distracted by dollar signs, the economy or convenience?  Now is the time to go back in order to go forward. Figure out what you want your business to be, plot the course and then stick to it.  You'll be amazed that your business can grow in to everything you've envisioned when you do the work to help it grow up.

Shirley E. Crawford

Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting

Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515

Take What You Need and Leave the Rest

To be successful one has to be a perpetual student.  There will always be something new to learn or expound upon in order to stay on top of your industry and frankly your life.  In that vein last week I attended a very promising all day seminar.  The speaker had an extensive list of credentials and a truly exciting outline (yes, I'm a geek).

Within less than 20 minutes of the presentation and in the midst of an eye opening aha moment she made a statement about the value, or lack thereof, of social media in the spectrum of things.  As a social media educator and one who has seen the massive impact of social media, used correctly, my ears started to close shut to any additional "words of wisdom" and also made me want to question everything she'd said up to that point. 

At this point I had a couple of choices and I promise you I debated extensively within myself.  In the meantime I missed a portion of the seminar before I shook myself and realized how stupid I was being.  Her pedigree was clear.  Her experience was unquestionable and even within the first few minutes she had already opened my eyes to things that seemed so obvious but were untouched in my life.

I determined then to take what I needed and leave the rest.  I filed away the questionable comments, admittedly physically flinching when I heard them, instead focusing on the amazing pearls of wisdom that she was throwing out like beads at Mardi Gras. The lesson for ALL OF US became blatantly obvious.

In every teacher/mentor/educator there are fountains of information ready to be poured in to your life BUT just because they package it differently or have differing opinions about some things does not negate the tutelage that they can offer you.   Shake yourself, open your eyes and ears and then Take What You Need and Leave The Rest. 

   

Shirley E. Crawford

Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting

Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515

Start Where You Are

It's not enough to have natural talent.  It's not enough to be smart.  It's not enough. None of it is enough until you do something with it.

Two years ago for my birthday, June 29th - yes you are welcome to send gifts, I gave myself the gift of the US Open.  I used AirBnB and stayed in a brownstone in Harlem and checked the US Open and seeing Venus and Serena Williams play tennis off of my bucket list.

The Event itself is spectacular but what made my heart stop was to look up and see the name on the side of one of the center courts, the Arthur Ashe Stadium.  In addition there is the plaque with his tennis record and the Foundation in his name that was hosting an event in addition to the Arthur Ashe Kids day which is hosted during the first day of the US Open.

The grandeur, the pomp and circumstance and Arthur Ashe was just a kid who lived close to the home I grew up in.  He was the kid that the neighbors knew but I'd never met.  They said he was the scrawny tennis boy but they said it with pride.  His impact is immortalized in a statue on Monument Avenue in Richmond, there is a sports center in his name locally but internationally his stadium and the Jr Tennis division all show and bear the direct impact of his life.

How does one go from losing one's mother and being held back because of the color of your skin to receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor and being the first person that Nelson Mandela wanted to meet after being freed from prison.  As Ashe put it you, "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."

What hinderances are we allowing to limit our greatness?  The answer to our success really is just this simple.  Set your goal and then just get started.  Take the skills, gifts and talents that you have and use them.  But never let what you accomplish be enough.  Add to your talents education.  Education is to be found in the classroom but also in the classroom of the world.  Learn from your neighbors.  And whenever the challenge seems too great then place your focus on the spot in front of you.  Conquer where you are and then move on to the next step.  If you maintain that focus you will be amazed when you look up and look back to see how far you've come.

Start where you are and then NEVER STOP!

   

Shirley E. Crawford
Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting
Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515

Who Needs Spring Break...Break When You Wanna

I ALWAYS HAVE WORK TO DO.  As an entrepreneur there is always something that needs to be done.  Even after a gratifying success there is still the next goal that needs to be met in order to keep your business running for years to come.

When you worked for someone else you knew exactly how much time away from work you would have.... 2 weeks the first year maybe 3 weeks for some of you.  You had to schedule vacation time to accommodate doctor's appointments and match when your kids were out of school.  This week is Spring Break for most and you would have had to compete with every other employee to get your vacation request in and hope that you got the time off.

Well now you've launched out on your own and it's time for you to realize that YOU are your boss.  Feel free to go with your kids on a field trip.  Allow yourself to have a spa day or day of golf.  YOU control your schedule so it's Spring Break feel empowered to block as many hours as you like to spend quality time with your family.  

Why should you feel guilty about time away from the work?  I promise you the work will be there when you return AND you will be rejuvenated AND it will be easier to remember why you work yourself so hard.  As an entrepreneur you can provide financially but you also have the liberty to provide emotionally.  So, feel free to ask your boss for some time off.  Personally I'm on my way to the beach the moment this post is over.  Ta Ta

Shirley Crawford

2nd Chance Consulting

   

Shirley E. Crawford
Small Business Whisperer * Speaker * Lecturer
The tools and resources that your business needs  to succeed

2nd Chance Consulting
Your 2nd Chance at a first impression
804-426-1515